This topic is rather sensitive, but I know that there are others out there who have had heart breaks, disappointments, and set backs. I do not wish to withhold anything that has been beneficial to me. This post is in no way to be a replacement from you going straight to the Word of God. God's Word and His leading gives the ultimate comfort and guidance. I just want to share what God gave me through His Word and also through fellow Christians who gave biblical advice during my time of hurt. Also, please click the link "set free" if you would like to know more on how you can have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ: Set Free
Break-ups..... It's definitely a process.
I don't know about you, but when you realize that something has ended that you were ready to throw your entire being into... it hurts. Never have I felt a physical pain in my heart until that week. I literally was pressing on my chest to try and ease the pain.
I was sitting on a rocking chair outside looking at the beautiful night sky. Tears running down my face and let me tell you.... I was definitely ugly crying. I couldn't catch my breath. My mind kept racing to different things. I felt attacked in the moment of complete pain and disappointment. I was fighting the thought of why couldn't this finally be the one. I could move forward with the life I have always dream of and prayed for. A life that I believe God was in and working. I struggled not getting bitter in the moment. I had to start speaking truth to myself out loud. I kept telling myself in that rocking chair that God was in control and everything was going to be okay. The problem was... I didn't want to be "okay". I didn't want it to end. I am fully aware that God opens doors when one closes, but I didn't want the door closed. Noah peaked outside and saw me crying. He was unaware of the situation. I told him the basics and he told me to go on a walk with him. We walked. My eyes sobbing with tears while trying to tell Noah how I felt and what had happened. There was too many emotions. I am so glad I took a walk with him. Noah spoke truth to me and just reminded me that I myself didn't have to come to the conclusion that it was over right that evening.
1. It's okay to not let someone go right away. There's a process and allow God to be in that process of healing. Spend time alone with God.
I spent sometime alone with God after taking a walk with Noah. I wept some more and poured out how I was feeling to God. I cried and cried some more. I remembered that verse on how the Holy Spirit speaks for us when we can't speak for ourselves.(Romans 8:26) This was where I was at. I became silent so that I could hear God after speaking my pains and disappointments. In that beautiful moment of silence... I heard God speak. I will not share what He said for it was personal. What I can tell you is it gave me a special peace in knowing that God is working.
Did this all happen?
I woke up the following morning wondering if the night before was all a dream. The absence of notifications on my phone had proven it to be true. It was hard to face the day ahead... to face my own thoughts.
I had my time with the Lord, but I wasn't sure what to do next. I had already started losing sight on what God had spoken to me about the night before.
2. God loves you.
A dear friend reached out to me that morning to check up on me. Did you know that God loves me? He sees my hurt and puts me on another sister in Christ's heart to be that encouragement! She gave some amazing advice that morning. I was challenged to close my social media, eat whatever I want, and get alone with God for three days. The best part is it landed all on a weekend. It was perfect. She also spoke truth and I know without a doubt that she was praying for me. I hope to someday share her story. It's absolutely amazing and God-centered!
I was able to follow the advice listed above. I had an amazing trip to post about, but I waited and turned it all off.
I took a last minute trip to the beach with a few of my siblings that day. All credit goes to my mom, who suggested the trip. The road trip was great. My siblings kept me occupied. They were constantly cracking jokes and making me laugh. I've never laughed so hard, all the while experiencing such heart wrenching pain. It was interesting. Reminded me that I can still smile through the pain. Hailey had just recently bought for King and Country's new album. It was pretty relevant with the season in my life. I was grateful for it. We arrived at the beach! It was one of the most beautiful sunsets that I had ever seen! A big storm was rolling in and there was a beam of light shining through near Catalina Island. I sat there and prayed while watching the waves crash on the rocks below. I was running through scenarios in my head trying to calculate what was the true reason for an ending of what I thought was completely a gift from God.
3. There is purpose behind the pain.
You know what the conclusion was? Nothing. I had to give it to God. The only thing I could understand that actually makes sense is that God allowed it to happen and there is purpose behind it all. I walked away with ideas of how I could grow as a christian during this season that was given to me.
I've learned that it changes my entire perspective when I look at every experience as an opportunity to draw close to God. God's plan is to shape us more like Christ. It's for us to be bright lights for the world around us and to shine the gospel of Jesus in a beautiful way, so that others can come to know the hope that lives within us. Within you.
4. Don't lock yourself in a room and keep everything to yourself.
The following day my friends had planned to meet up for coffee to learn about my trip and all my experiences. I warned them that it wasn't going to be what it had originally planned out to be. Being the amazing friends that they are... they were okay with that. In fact, they wanted to be there for me even more so due to the circumstances. It was good. I had another set of disappointments that day and so I am glad I was able to face them with my friends. They were wonderful.
Having loved ones to share your hurts with is so very important. I am so thankful for the circle of loved ones that God gave me.
God says that we are to comfort one another and share our faults.(James 5:16) It's hard, because it makes you vulnerable, but it is completely worth it. Your friends will know how to better pray for you. It helps for me to know the hurts and struggles of others so that I know what to specifically ask for when praying.
5. Take one day at a time. I know it's cliche, but it is true.
This season was an interesting one. It was hard to answer people when they would ask about my relationship only to tell them that I was no longer in one and I had no idea what explanation to give.
I kept busy with work, ministry, and other activities. My goal was to live out the day focusing on Christ. This song was inspiring: The Cause of Christ
Another struggle was trying not to make any big decisions. I wanted so bad to move away, get a new job, or brace yourself, date again. I wanted so bad to be okay and pretend like I didn't fall in love with someone. There were other days where I felt like a hopeless romantic and wanted to pledge to never love again, because nothing could ever compare to the love I had for this person. Yes, I am dramatic. Very dramatic at times.
I have also taken days to fast, pray, and spend time in God's Word. A devotional from My Utmost for His Highest reminded me of the importance of getting alone with God. I have been guilty of being busy with good things, but completely lacking in my time with God. It takes one morning where I don't take the time to truly dive into God's Word that I end the day with my flesh ruling my thoughts and actions.
6. Take control of your thoughts.(Philippians 4:8)
This step is very hard. Keeping myself from thinking about the past and what used to be is hard. It is possible, because with God all things are possible!(Matthew 19:26, Philippians 4:13) I caught myself casually dreaming about what used to be and listening to songs that could relate to it all. Yikes! That's a dangerous place to be. I thought that remembering the good was okay, and in some circumstances it is, but it would always take me away from reality. Ultimately, my focus needs to be on Christ. All the time. This is always a good reminder. Everyday is a battle. It may not be the same battle, but it always seems to be something that comes to distract me from what is important, and that is to love God with all my heart and love others as myself.(Matthew 22:36-40)
7. Believe that God has an amazing plan and purpose for your life.
I know and believe the promises of God's Word. I took some time to truly reflect on bible verses that pertain to His promises. Lysa Terkeurst's book, "It's Not Supposed To Be This Way" was given to me from my sister, Hailey for Christmas. It was perfect. Lysa helped me understand the season I was in from a different perspective. A biblical perspective. I am still healing. I have no idea what God has planned, but I choose to Trust and Obey God's plan. That may be living one day at a time loving God and loving others while waiting for God to lead. Life is beautiful. God has been helping me see the blessings around me. The blessings in the mundane. I wouldn't mind posting sometime about those mundane experiences that turned into interesting days of laughter, a lioness, and false bomb threats, but that can be for another time.
Let me tell you that the devil is so good at coming around when things are rough and trying to get you to compare to other people and the life you thought you would have by your age. I have to see that it creates an unthankful spirit in me and causes me to be anxious. It's poison. The greatest antidote in life is thanksgiving and praise to God for all He has done! This song was one I would use to remind myself of God's goodness: Good To Me
There was a song that I claimed during my time in a relationship. The song was so relevant because I literally felt in over my head in the new relationship I was in. It was crazy, fun, new, challenging, wonderful, filled with love, adventure, frustration, laughter, and tears. I would never go back and change the experiences I had. God had a purpose for it and I trust in that. I know without a doubt that God was in the relationship, but I know that it may not mean marriage at the end of it all. Perhaps, there was something to be learned from that person. Just like all other relationships. Whether that be at work, family, church, or complete strangers. God uses people to influence, motivate, challenge, and test us. Following Christ means being in over our heads. Following Christ is crazy in the eyes of those who are of the world, but to us... it is the only way to live.
Step out into the water.
I hope this song is a blessing: In Over My Head
With love and for His glory,
Mackenzie
Ephesians 3:20
Break-ups..... It's definitely a process.
I don't know about you, but when you realize that something has ended that you were ready to throw your entire being into... it hurts. Never have I felt a physical pain in my heart until that week. I literally was pressing on my chest to try and ease the pain.
I was sitting on a rocking chair outside looking at the beautiful night sky. Tears running down my face and let me tell you.... I was definitely ugly crying. I couldn't catch my breath. My mind kept racing to different things. I felt attacked in the moment of complete pain and disappointment. I was fighting the thought of why couldn't this finally be the one. I could move forward with the life I have always dream of and prayed for. A life that I believe God was in and working. I struggled not getting bitter in the moment. I had to start speaking truth to myself out loud. I kept telling myself in that rocking chair that God was in control and everything was going to be okay. The problem was... I didn't want to be "okay". I didn't want it to end. I am fully aware that God opens doors when one closes, but I didn't want the door closed. Noah peaked outside and saw me crying. He was unaware of the situation. I told him the basics and he told me to go on a walk with him. We walked. My eyes sobbing with tears while trying to tell Noah how I felt and what had happened. There was too many emotions. I am so glad I took a walk with him. Noah spoke truth to me and just reminded me that I myself didn't have to come to the conclusion that it was over right that evening.
1. It's okay to not let someone go right away. There's a process and allow God to be in that process of healing. Spend time alone with God.
I spent sometime alone with God after taking a walk with Noah. I wept some more and poured out how I was feeling to God. I cried and cried some more. I remembered that verse on how the Holy Spirit speaks for us when we can't speak for ourselves.(Romans 8:26) This was where I was at. I became silent so that I could hear God after speaking my pains and disappointments. In that beautiful moment of silence... I heard God speak. I will not share what He said for it was personal. What I can tell you is it gave me a special peace in knowing that God is working.
Did this all happen?
I woke up the following morning wondering if the night before was all a dream. The absence of notifications on my phone had proven it to be true. It was hard to face the day ahead... to face my own thoughts.
I had my time with the Lord, but I wasn't sure what to do next. I had already started losing sight on what God had spoken to me about the night before.
2. God loves you.
A dear friend reached out to me that morning to check up on me. Did you know that God loves me? He sees my hurt and puts me on another sister in Christ's heart to be that encouragement! She gave some amazing advice that morning. I was challenged to close my social media, eat whatever I want, and get alone with God for three days. The best part is it landed all on a weekend. It was perfect. She also spoke truth and I know without a doubt that she was praying for me. I hope to someday share her story. It's absolutely amazing and God-centered!
I was able to follow the advice listed above. I had an amazing trip to post about, but I waited and turned it all off.
I took a last minute trip to the beach with a few of my siblings that day. All credit goes to my mom, who suggested the trip. The road trip was great. My siblings kept me occupied. They were constantly cracking jokes and making me laugh. I've never laughed so hard, all the while experiencing such heart wrenching pain. It was interesting. Reminded me that I can still smile through the pain. Hailey had just recently bought for King and Country's new album. It was pretty relevant with the season in my life. I was grateful for it. We arrived at the beach! It was one of the most beautiful sunsets that I had ever seen! A big storm was rolling in and there was a beam of light shining through near Catalina Island. I sat there and prayed while watching the waves crash on the rocks below. I was running through scenarios in my head trying to calculate what was the true reason for an ending of what I thought was completely a gift from God.
3. There is purpose behind the pain.
You know what the conclusion was? Nothing. I had to give it to God. The only thing I could understand that actually makes sense is that God allowed it to happen and there is purpose behind it all. I walked away with ideas of how I could grow as a christian during this season that was given to me.
I've learned that it changes my entire perspective when I look at every experience as an opportunity to draw close to God. God's plan is to shape us more like Christ. It's for us to be bright lights for the world around us and to shine the gospel of Jesus in a beautiful way, so that others can come to know the hope that lives within us. Within you.
4. Don't lock yourself in a room and keep everything to yourself.
The following day my friends had planned to meet up for coffee to learn about my trip and all my experiences. I warned them that it wasn't going to be what it had originally planned out to be. Being the amazing friends that they are... they were okay with that. In fact, they wanted to be there for me even more so due to the circumstances. It was good. I had another set of disappointments that day and so I am glad I was able to face them with my friends. They were wonderful.
Having loved ones to share your hurts with is so very important. I am so thankful for the circle of loved ones that God gave me.
God says that we are to comfort one another and share our faults.(James 5:16) It's hard, because it makes you vulnerable, but it is completely worth it. Your friends will know how to better pray for you. It helps for me to know the hurts and struggles of others so that I know what to specifically ask for when praying.
5. Take one day at a time. I know it's cliche, but it is true.
This season was an interesting one. It was hard to answer people when they would ask about my relationship only to tell them that I was no longer in one and I had no idea what explanation to give.
I kept busy with work, ministry, and other activities. My goal was to live out the day focusing on Christ. This song was inspiring: The Cause of Christ
Another struggle was trying not to make any big decisions. I wanted so bad to move away, get a new job, or brace yourself, date again. I wanted so bad to be okay and pretend like I didn't fall in love with someone. There were other days where I felt like a hopeless romantic and wanted to pledge to never love again, because nothing could ever compare to the love I had for this person. Yes, I am dramatic. Very dramatic at times.
I have also taken days to fast, pray, and spend time in God's Word. A devotional from My Utmost for His Highest reminded me of the importance of getting alone with God. I have been guilty of being busy with good things, but completely lacking in my time with God. It takes one morning where I don't take the time to truly dive into God's Word that I end the day with my flesh ruling my thoughts and actions.
6. Take control of your thoughts.(Philippians 4:8)
This step is very hard. Keeping myself from thinking about the past and what used to be is hard. It is possible, because with God all things are possible!(Matthew 19:26, Philippians 4:13) I caught myself casually dreaming about what used to be and listening to songs that could relate to it all. Yikes! That's a dangerous place to be. I thought that remembering the good was okay, and in some circumstances it is, but it would always take me away from reality. Ultimately, my focus needs to be on Christ. All the time. This is always a good reminder. Everyday is a battle. It may not be the same battle, but it always seems to be something that comes to distract me from what is important, and that is to love God with all my heart and love others as myself.(Matthew 22:36-40)
7. Believe that God has an amazing plan and purpose for your life.
I know and believe the promises of God's Word. I took some time to truly reflect on bible verses that pertain to His promises. Lysa Terkeurst's book, "It's Not Supposed To Be This Way" was given to me from my sister, Hailey for Christmas. It was perfect. Lysa helped me understand the season I was in from a different perspective. A biblical perspective. I am still healing. I have no idea what God has planned, but I choose to Trust and Obey God's plan. That may be living one day at a time loving God and loving others while waiting for God to lead. Life is beautiful. God has been helping me see the blessings around me. The blessings in the mundane. I wouldn't mind posting sometime about those mundane experiences that turned into interesting days of laughter, a lioness, and false bomb threats, but that can be for another time.
Let me tell you that the devil is so good at coming around when things are rough and trying to get you to compare to other people and the life you thought you would have by your age. I have to see that it creates an unthankful spirit in me and causes me to be anxious. It's poison. The greatest antidote in life is thanksgiving and praise to God for all He has done! This song was one I would use to remind myself of God's goodness: Good To Me
There was a song that I claimed during my time in a relationship. The song was so relevant because I literally felt in over my head in the new relationship I was in. It was crazy, fun, new, challenging, wonderful, filled with love, adventure, frustration, laughter, and tears. I would never go back and change the experiences I had. God had a purpose for it and I trust in that. I know without a doubt that God was in the relationship, but I know that it may not mean marriage at the end of it all. Perhaps, there was something to be learned from that person. Just like all other relationships. Whether that be at work, family, church, or complete strangers. God uses people to influence, motivate, challenge, and test us. Following Christ means being in over our heads. Following Christ is crazy in the eyes of those who are of the world, but to us... it is the only way to live.
Step out into the water.
I hope this song is a blessing: In Over My Head
"And further and further my heart moves away from the shore
Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours
And further and further my heart moves away from the shore
Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours
Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours
And further and further my heart moves away from the shore
Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours
Then You crash over me and I’ve lost control but I’m free
I’m going under, I’m in over my head
And You crash over me, I’m where You want me to be
I’m going under, I’m in over my head
Whether I sink, whether I swim
Oh it makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head
And whether I sink, whether I swim
It makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head
I’m beautifully in over my head
Beautifully in over my head"
I’m going under, I’m in over my head
And You crash over me, I’m where You want me to be
I’m going under, I’m in over my head
Whether I sink, whether I swim
Oh it makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head
And whether I sink, whether I swim
It makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head
I’m beautifully in over my head
Beautifully in over my head"
With love and for His glory,
Mackenzie
Ephesians 3:20
Beautiful post, Mackenzie!
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