It's cold, the TV is playing a sermon from a church, its about 5am Sunday morning. I am trying to catch up with some sleep in a dark family room after a night of lying next to Haden as he tossed and turned with wires attached to his brain for seizure readings that entire week.
My mom had gone through a week of making sure that he didn't turn too much, and my dad would drive out after full hours of work to be there to support my mom at all the times he could. I was able to get a little sleep that morning, but my mom called saying that I needed to get back to the room. Haden wasn't being very responsive and he seemed extremely lethargic. They took us down swiftly to receive a Brain Scan to see if there was any bleeding(that's the biggest concern since they had a grid on his brain). We waited. My dad was on his way. The news came. They told us that there was some bleeding going on. At this point we didn't know how bad. My mom wanting more answer's, but also trying to keep her composure while tears ran down her face. Me. I felt frozen. Unable to be strong, unable to comfort my mom. Trying to keep the tears from pouring down my face as we have come to this moment. Not sure what was going to come next.
This picture below is a moment I captured as my mom leaned up next to Haden(who was not being very responsive) praying.
We had to wait for the Neurologist and Neurosurgeon to come and present what we were going to do next. While we waited, a Rabbi came in to pray with us since the christian pastor was not around at the time(they knew we were christian). He was kind and lead us in prayer. He asked if we would like to pray, so I did. While I prayed, tears ran down my cheek as I had come to a place in my life where I knew I could cry out to my Heavenly Papa, and know that God loves Haden much more than we ever could. I knew I could trust Him. He had brought us this far. I asked for His peace and I thanked Him for what He was going to do.
There was a peace in knowing that things were going to be okay. Haden was going to be okay.
Not much longer after that my dad showed up. The neurosurgeon also came and explained the bleeding. He was able to inform us that he wasn't concerned and that this was not a surprise to him. He presented to us the removing of the abnormality and some of the tissue surrounding it. By this time Haden was becoming responsive, and asked to watch "Brave". We watched BBC live on Facebook and laughed at my siblings who were singing their hearts out during the song service. My grandparents and the rest of my siblings planned on driving out right after the morning service since Haden was stable, and the surgery was planned to take place in the afternoon.
We gathered all our things as we were getting ready to head off to the pre-op room with Haden. Dad, mom, and I each took turns praying over Haden as he was sleeping, and the nurses were preparing him for the operation.
Haden went in for the operation, and was estimated to finish around 6pm. The rest of the family showed up that afternoon, and we all waited. There was once again a peace in knowing that we were brought to this moment. Haden was going to be okay.
We were so appreciative and so grateful for the prayers, text messages, and for our bosses who brought dinner for our family during that time. I'm so thankful for the love and support our family received during this time. God is so good.
The only concern was the side effects they expected Haden to have due to the portion of the brain that they would be removing. They said that he could, and probably would lose some memory, partial eye sight, and/or need physical therapy for possible walking disorders/limp.
Haden came out of the operation just fine. The neurosurgeon came and explained how the operation went. He asked Haden to talk to him and he would leave him alone, this was just moments after he woke up from a 6 hour surgery, Haden said "Go Away", the doctor said, 'that is all I need to hear." lol He was now recovering.
His recovery time was fast and they sent him home to continue his recovery. It was hard to see Haden with the marking's and shaved head. Only because I knew he was insecure about it, and to see your baby brother with that kind of insecurity was hard. He wore beanies frequently so that he wouldn't see his stitches and mess with them. After a while he became confident and didn't want to wear the beanie any more. I wish I had his confidence, because I would get nervous that someone would say something about his head. Haden didn't mind. Kids would see his head at church and ask about what happened. Haden would smile and come close so that they could see/touch his head. He was rather silly about it at times. It was amazing how fast he recovered! I went with my mom to the first check up with the neurosurgeon, and he was very pleased with Haden's recovery! To God be the glory.
Haden did not suffer ANY of the side effects that they had predicted he would have!
Miracles happen. Haden is one.
"As I reflect back to the weekend before Haden’s first surgery, so many uncertainties were flooding my mind regarding the seriousness of the surgeries he was going to undergo. Would he come through the surgery disabled for the rest of his life? Would he survive the surgery? Was the tumor cancerous? These are just a few of the thoughts going through my mind. When people talked to me, I referred to this being a “dark time” those words were a focus point in my life, even though I was trusting and praying, it still felt dark. The Sunday morning before his surgery, I was driving to church and just praying and asking God to somehow help me get through this dark time. It was as if someone in the car spoke audibly in my ear and said “with Me there is no darkness “ chills still come when I think about that one amazing thought. A peace came over me like a flood, I turned on the Christian radio and as I was driving the DJ said, when you are feeling like you are in darkness just know that Satan is working because no matter what you are going through you can still live in the light. I held on to that truth the entire two weeks we were at the hospital and continue to hold on to that today. Jesus is light and in Him is no darkness at all!
Here is the exact quote: 1 John 1:5 (KJV) "This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all."
We serve an Amazing God!" -Pam Knouf (My mom)
The Doctor Song: You have called me higher
To God be the glory,
Mackenzie
Philippians 3:10
"That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death"
My mom had gone through a week of making sure that he didn't turn too much, and my dad would drive out after full hours of work to be there to support my mom at all the times he could. I was able to get a little sleep that morning, but my mom called saying that I needed to get back to the room. Haden wasn't being very responsive and he seemed extremely lethargic. They took us down swiftly to receive a Brain Scan to see if there was any bleeding(that's the biggest concern since they had a grid on his brain). We waited. My dad was on his way. The news came. They told us that there was some bleeding going on. At this point we didn't know how bad. My mom wanting more answer's, but also trying to keep her composure while tears ran down her face. Me. I felt frozen. Unable to be strong, unable to comfort my mom. Trying to keep the tears from pouring down my face as we have come to this moment. Not sure what was going to come next.
This picture below is a moment I captured as my mom leaned up next to Haden(who was not being very responsive) praying.
We had to wait for the Neurologist and Neurosurgeon to come and present what we were going to do next. While we waited, a Rabbi came in to pray with us since the christian pastor was not around at the time(they knew we were christian). He was kind and lead us in prayer. He asked if we would like to pray, so I did. While I prayed, tears ran down my cheek as I had come to a place in my life where I knew I could cry out to my Heavenly Papa, and know that God loves Haden much more than we ever could. I knew I could trust Him. He had brought us this far. I asked for His peace and I thanked Him for what He was going to do.
There was a peace in knowing that things were going to be okay. Haden was going to be okay.
Not much longer after that my dad showed up. The neurosurgeon also came and explained the bleeding. He was able to inform us that he wasn't concerned and that this was not a surprise to him. He presented to us the removing of the abnormality and some of the tissue surrounding it. By this time Haden was becoming responsive, and asked to watch "Brave". We watched BBC live on Facebook and laughed at my siblings who were singing their hearts out during the song service. My grandparents and the rest of my siblings planned on driving out right after the morning service since Haden was stable, and the surgery was planned to take place in the afternoon.
We gathered all our things as we were getting ready to head off to the pre-op room with Haden. Dad, mom, and I each took turns praying over Haden as he was sleeping, and the nurses were preparing him for the operation.
Haden went in for the operation, and was estimated to finish around 6pm. The rest of the family showed up that afternoon, and we all waited. There was once again a peace in knowing that we were brought to this moment. Haden was going to be okay.
We were so appreciative and so grateful for the prayers, text messages, and for our bosses who brought dinner for our family during that time. I'm so thankful for the love and support our family received during this time. God is so good.
The only concern was the side effects they expected Haden to have due to the portion of the brain that they would be removing. They said that he could, and probably would lose some memory, partial eye sight, and/or need physical therapy for possible walking disorders/limp.
Haden came out of the operation just fine. The neurosurgeon came and explained how the operation went. He asked Haden to talk to him and he would leave him alone, this was just moments after he woke up from a 6 hour surgery, Haden said "Go Away", the doctor said, 'that is all I need to hear." lol He was now recovering.
His recovery time was fast and they sent him home to continue his recovery. It was hard to see Haden with the marking's and shaved head. Only because I knew he was insecure about it, and to see your baby brother with that kind of insecurity was hard. He wore beanies frequently so that he wouldn't see his stitches and mess with them. After a while he became confident and didn't want to wear the beanie any more. I wish I had his confidence, because I would get nervous that someone would say something about his head. Haden didn't mind. Kids would see his head at church and ask about what happened. Haden would smile and come close so that they could see/touch his head. He was rather silly about it at times. It was amazing how fast he recovered! I went with my mom to the first check up with the neurosurgeon, and he was very pleased with Haden's recovery! To God be the glory.
Haden did not suffer ANY of the side effects that they had predicted he would have!
Miracles happen. Haden is one.
"As I reflect back to the weekend before Haden’s first surgery, so many uncertainties were flooding my mind regarding the seriousness of the surgeries he was going to undergo. Would he come through the surgery disabled for the rest of his life? Would he survive the surgery? Was the tumor cancerous? These are just a few of the thoughts going through my mind. When people talked to me, I referred to this being a “dark time” those words were a focus point in my life, even though I was trusting and praying, it still felt dark. The Sunday morning before his surgery, I was driving to church and just praying and asking God to somehow help me get through this dark time. It was as if someone in the car spoke audibly in my ear and said “with Me there is no darkness “ chills still come when I think about that one amazing thought. A peace came over me like a flood, I turned on the Christian radio and as I was driving the DJ said, when you are feeling like you are in darkness just know that Satan is working because no matter what you are going through you can still live in the light. I held on to that truth the entire two weeks we were at the hospital and continue to hold on to that today. Jesus is light and in Him is no darkness at all!
Here is the exact quote: 1 John 1:5 (KJV) "This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all."
We serve an Amazing God!" -Pam Knouf (My mom)
The Doctor Song: You have called me higher
To God be the glory,
Mackenzie
Philippians 3:10
"That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death"
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