I'm not an expert at this but I would like to share what I have learned and what has helped me.
I am here to say THERE IS HOPE. Seriously though.... Whether you are a virgin or not...it is possible to maintain purity physically and mentally in a world where everything is centered around sex. I know that more people struggle with the sexual desires that ARE natural than what most people would like to admit. It's natural.... but the worst thing you can do to yourself is feed your sexual desires outside of Marriage. It will lead you down a road you really don't want to go down. God created sex. It is supposed to be wonderful and a gift... but in God's timing. I will never forget what a preacher said,
"You can't get victory over sexual desires because they are natural. You will always have them. You have to learn to MAINTAIN them."
If you're the type to think you are too far gone.... Your mind is just wrapped around sex ...or you've experienced too much..... You are right. As long as you have that kind of attitude you will never actually look into doing something about it. There's the secret. You have to want to do something about it. I will tell you that if you truly want to maintain pure thoughts and motives its going to take work. YOU can do it! God provides verses in the bible that give us the victory over whatever strong holds we have(which I will share further in this post).
Also, do NOT put God in a box and think He can't help you in this area. He can. Some of you may think it's silly, but when you don't have purity in your heart and life..... That separates you from God and it will hurt you. I can promise you that separation is not God's plan for you and Him. He loves you. He wants to help, but you have to allow Him. Be brave enough to admit that without God you can't, because it's the gospel truth. We can't, but He can do what we think is the impossible through us. All we have to do is ask, and that my friends, takes faith.
We need to be aware that what goes on in our minds... Our thought life...IS just as important as our outward living.
1 Chronicles 28:9 ".....serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind: for the LORD searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts"
What you let in through your eyes and ears WILL effect your mind and heart.
Music:
Be careful what you listen to. Some of the most popular songs and music encourage your relationship motives to move towards sex. Not all do... but what does your music encourage?
I knew I had a cd that God wanted me to get rid of. I would put it away and "occasionally" listen to it cuz the songs were fun/entertaining....but they were not good for me spiritually at all. I finally realized that to really show God how important my relationship with Him was and is, I was going to have to throw it away.... I stood by the trash can trying to talk myself out of it or in to it... not sure(I really love music...lol), and my brother Levi came over and randomly asked if he could break it. I said, yes. It hurt, because like I said... I LOVE music....... but you have to be willing to let go of things that are hurting you spiritually. You can feed your sex drive or even just your thought life through music. Maybe music isn't leading you to want to have sex.... but maybe it's giving you desires of wanting someone to touch you or hold you....They feed your attitude and desires. Music feeds your mood and attitude. Give a ten year old girl teenage pop rock music... Odds are she is going to act sassy and spoiled....or want a boy friend because music is usually centered around relationships. Bottom line...feed your soul good music. Hope-Filled music. God-centered music. You have so many choices/styles now with Christian music. Take your pick.
A lot of us enjoy depressing music and songs but they aren't good for us! So stop! Some times secular music isn't even bad.... but if it distracts you from what God wants you to be focused on... its terrible for you.
MOVIES:
Deny all you want, but a lot of movies don't help with keeping a moral purity mindset. There seems to always be some kind of "sex scene" in most movies or maybe just a good kiss that leaves you with your heart beating. haha! I'm a girl. Just keep that in mind as you read on. Girls want to be held, loved, touched, and movies can arouse that desire. It's the worst thing for us girls who are trying to have and maintain purity to watch anything that leads to infatuation and sexual things. If there's a good movie that has a scene... skip the scene... Don't watch it. We shouldn't stop the whole "standards" and "close your eyes" thing as soon as we are adults. That should continue on no matter how childish it seems. Just ask God to give you wisdom in this area. If there's a movie that effects your mood or outlook on standards in life.... Get rid of it. Don't tempt yourself with it. Sometimes us girls watch love movies and it makes us ungrateful and impatient with being single. Don't allow yourself to covet. Let that movie go....
Social Media: Girls, please be careful what you wear and post. Don't be the reason guys have to fight off something they saw on social media.
Guys and girls....some of you need to "unfollow" people you know cause you to be tempted. Ask God to give you wisdom. Don't be ignorant. Don't let other people's sin enter into your eyes and into your heart. Avoid it.
Your Thought life is important:
You will get discouraged and mess up. Maybe it will be a dirty dream or a thought that pops into your head. Maybe something dirty on a bill board, TV, social media, Internet, or a person you see who is revealing way too much of their body.
Just remember... It's the second glance that will kill your purity. It's when it comes into your thoughts and you let them linger. Get them out ASAP! A preacher said that if a dirty thought pops in your head you have a choice... Let it linger or get it out. The preacher also says he uses the phrase "Access Denied". That was a game changer for me, because my thought life would just run rapid and I didn't know how to control it with such confidence. After that it helped so much. I would instantly say verbally "Access Denied in Jesus' Name" anytime thoughts would flood my mind that I knew were wrong. Whether it be fear, doubt, sexual, dirty... Get it out. This is a verse I quote to myself anytime I'm struggling with my thoughts.
1 Corinthians 10:5
"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;"
Psalm 19:14
"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer."
You have an enemy that wants to cause you to drift from God. Don't let the devil get you where you're weak. Find out what your weaknesses are and strengthen them through prayer and God's Word. Don't be ignorant of the devices satan can use against you.
2 Corinthians 2:11 Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.
Fight back. Your flesh is your worst enemy. We need to make sure we are feeding the spirit...or our flesh will beat us every time.
Jesus says in Matthew 26:41;
"Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."
God says if we walk in the spirit we SHALL NOT fulfil the lust of the flesh! Walking in the spirit is; reading God's Word, Praying, following God's Word by obedience to it. God's Word is supposed to be our DAILY bread not just an occasional treat.
Galatians 5:16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
Live in the liberty Christ so freely gives!
Galatians 5:1 STAND fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.
When sex can become a bondage.
Don't try to fill the void you have with sex, that only Jesus Christ can truly and only fill.
Sex can be a bondage. It can enslave you. When you have sex out side of a God ordained marriage... You are sinning against your own body! Not to even mention your sinning against your loving Heavenly Father! That is not heathy for you or your relationship with God. Just remember that when you sin... YOU are walking away from God. God in no way looks at His child in sin and desires to disown you. What kind of father would be happy to see their child walk away? Not God. He loves you and when you sin...you break His heart. Don't allow anyone to talk you into thinking it's okay for a Christian to have sex before marriage. Its the worst thing for a Christian when we sin, because we feel the grief the Holy Spirit gives us when we sin.
Sex can easily be turned into a type of addiction. I hear that it gives a wonderful high, but just like everything else.... It dies. It doesn't fully satisfy. Allow Jesus to satisfy you're void. Don't try and fill it with empty, temporary pleasure.
In case you don't know, fornication is sex outside of marriage.
The bible says that when you have sex outside of marriage you are sinning against your own body.
1Corinthians 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
If you have received Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Saviour... You are a child of God! You were bought with the precious blood of Jesus Christ. Let's live like it! Wait for God's best!
As wonderful as sex may sound... As much as we want it.... We need to wait until we are married. Even if you have already had sex... Choose now to turn to God and to keep moral purity. Purity isn't something that ends after marriage. It is something you continue to live out through your entire life.
I hope and pray this encourages you to keep and fight for your moral purity. For you and your relationship with God.
If you would like some more insight. Check out this link: http://moralrevolution.com/manage-my-sex-drive-without/
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